Friday, November 30, 2012

Why can't things be cut and dry?

I have worked hard to be a better person.  When I came home from the hospital, I was in a dark place.  My other dealt with me.  It wasn't easy for either of us, but sometimes I feel like he preferred me being miserable.  We are broken up and we have been for a few months, and since he ended it, I have dedicated myself on being a better person. 

Don't get me wrong, he is the love of my life.  Things have turned wrong and I honestly don't think it is me....I am not taking the victim role this time.  I hope he realizes what he is losing, by the way he keeps pushing me away.

I will be okay with or without him. I just need to remember in the end, MY LIFE and MY MONSTERS are the driving force in my recovery.  His bullshit won't compromise my sobriety...I just wish he could figure out what he wants to do and stop trying to drag me down to being miserable.

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