Anxiety....

I'm not sure why but my anxiety is through the roof.

I have been working hard to regain my independence.  I have been using my walker at home and still use my wheelchair on bad days and in public.  I want to upgrade to forearm crutches, next.

I know I wasn't expected to walk, and maybe I am too stubborn and stupid to accept my fate.  I can't even entertain the thought of being in the the prison of a wheelchair for the rest of my life.  I don't hate my life but I miss the freedom of my past.

I can't help but wonder in these moments what was I thinking?

Long hard out of hell.

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I am very proud to announce...

A year clean!!!!!

It has been a very tempting year.  I didn't think I'd ever see it when I first decided to get clean.  It literally was one minute at a time occasionally.

I have had some amazing support, in this long hard journey... And I am very grateful for everyone that has not turned their back on me.

Sick...

Kris came home from his mom's...the day before he came home, he called and told me he was sick.  He mentioned that he felt dope sick without the gag factor.  I secretly wondered if he used and didn't tell me....

Yesterday, I didn't feel right...Today I feel dope sick without the gag factor.  Ugh....at least he didn't use....I am going back to laying down...