It's not a secret that I took a lot in life for granted. I didn't appreciate watching my monsters grow up. I didn't appreciate fresh air. I didn't appreciate walking.
I did appreciate the rush from a wonderful two bag shot. I even appreciated the two bag shot that I fell out on. Sick isn't it? I overdosed, and Kris and our ride brought me back from not breathing and turning blue....I was fucked up like I never was before....and at the time I remember thinking, "That was awesome!" What was I thinking?
January 21, 2012 is my clean date. In a little over 9 months, I have had to learn to live again. I am still learning. I have left the victim thinking behind to hang out with Ms. Heroin. I don't need that shit anymore. MY actions caused ME to be in the place that I am. Now that's not saying that I am saying that my bad behavior or actions were by any means alright.
I feel like a grounded teenager again, but much wiser. I have definitely a new appreciation for staying at home. I don't even have a desire to go to the crack houses to see how my "friends" are. I hate not having a car, but I like being home with the kids.
I am learning to live again and the little things, like being outside while Wimbledon has a play date, hugs and kisses from the monsters, and even relaxing and playing video games make life worth it....It's all about the little things.
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