Out of my comfort zone..

I always swore I'd do anything once.  Afraid or Not.  I ended up reaching my first real dream when I was in high school, when the odds were stacked against me.

Then I fell in love, and my life and goals changed.  I ended up married at 20, and we purchased our first home, and starting a family.  I lived the picket white fence dream, but I was unhappy.  My wonderful husband and I grew apart.  I could have worked harder to fix our marriage, but I didn't.  I own up to the destruction of our marriage.  

I couldn't find anything to make me truly happy.  I escaped my responsible life, and here is where the I'll try anything once, comes in. I booted (shot up) heroin.  It made me happy, but I only realized in sobriety that it was a Fake happiness, but when I had enough it was too late. Stopping meant being dope sick.  

I am addicted to tattoos and body modifications. I'd love to do suspension hanging once in my life. A body modification turned my life upside down, and I almost died.  As a result, I can't walk on my own, and my speech is ruined.  

Before my life turned into a vicious cycle of addiction, I was obese.  I decided to lose 100 lbs. and less than 2 years after I committed to losing weight, I reached my goal. 

After my two month hospital stay, FEAR controlled every decision I made, and kept me in my boring comfort zone.  

When I finally said enough was enough, stopping my addiction was the first step out of my pathetic comfort zone.  In the early stages of sobriety, I attended NA.  With my speech issue, speaking was a HUGE fear.  I decided to share several times, and I realized the only issue with MY speech was ME.  In rooms filled of 20-60 other addicts, all of them listened intently, and quite often when I finished sharing, there was clapping and after the meetings several of my fellow addicts would approach me and give me words of encouragement.

I realized I don't need to be afraid.  I still deserve a good life, If you don't work for what you want, it won't just be handed to you, and if it is, you can't take the experience and add to your character.  Don't get me wrong, help is an amazing thing.

If it wasn't for the help from Wendy, the author of 'I work with Crabby Crabby People', my dream of being a published author would most likely be a million miles away.  It was scary to give someone I never met Six Degrees Away from Death so she could help me on my journey.  I AM SO THANKFUL I allowed myself to step out of my comfort zone, because now, I remembered how to chase my dreams again.