I admit that I was a piece of shit mother when I wrapped up in my heroin addiction. I pretty much checked out of all my responsibilities...I started using regularly when life became two much. My marriage was ending, my twins were recently diagnosed with autism, and on top of that, my parents had several years of failing health and my mom was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer....I quit, I just wanted an escape so I could make it to tomorrow. Tomorrow had to be better.
Man, I was so wrong. Heroin was a temporary relief....little did I realize I opened another can of worms, infested a new set of problems.....
I learned from my mistake, and as shitty my consequences were, or are, I was lucky. I didn't die, and I am not in legal trouble, or any time in correctional institutions. I don't regret my mistakes....somehow in my head, my heroin addiction was the best mistake I ever made....It woke me the hell up and taught to appreciate the little things....
Now here is where I am struggling....now I am the active parent I should have been years ago....and as of recently my eldest twin, Shannon, is getting into A LOT of trouble. Punching a kid at lunch, screaming at the teacher and aide, not to mention throwing things at them. He also injures himself. He has already been suspended.....
HE IS 7 YEARS OLD!!!
I have been trying to talk to him about his problems, but he's not retaining anything and is acting unbearable more often than not. When I was a child, I didn't do anything nearly as bad, at least that young...I got my ass beat. Hairbrushes and belts....I don't blame my parents for their so-called abuse...If talking wasn't an option or I mouthed off, My ass felt it....Made me think....
Talking isn't working, but I can't smack him like I was raised.....What the fuck am I supposed to do????
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