Warning, this may be offensive to some reader....It is sort of venting, with a hint of story telling.
I met this girl, and after a few meetings red flags popped up in my head, like a popper on a Thanksgiving Day Turkey. She was "kicked out" of her aunts house while she was away for the weekend, while she was at my house, because she couldn't bring her kids along.
I am an asshole when I am trying to avoid a situation, and can't get away. It took two days before I snapped. I really tried to be nice...I don't think she is a bad girl, just she either likes being the victim or she's too stupid to use common sense...
Long story short, she ended up with what would be a 3 day visit ended up being 8 days. Her kids went to stay with her mom, and today her mom showed up with custody papers. The girl refused to sign them. She moved in with her sister and had to have her dad and sister save her kids for her.
The girl is older than me, she admitted to me that she is an alcoholic and a few years ago she was addicted to Ativan. I know addiction doesn't just stop. Yes, I am clean, but I am still a heroin addict. Everyday I have to make a conscience effort to NOT fall into the addiction trap. But I am the asshole because I called her on her "addictions." Then she said that she had a problem with them but stopped herself.
My ex-husband is interested in her, and after all the fucked up shit I put him through, I figured the addict thing should have been a HUGE red flag for him. Then she tried playing that the word addict is misunderstood, and she wasn't an addict per say...
Just for future reference...DO NOT USE THE WORD ADDICTED IF
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING!! I can't figure out if she was trying
to fit in with me, like being an addict is the key to a friendship with me and my other.
Not to be a dick, but the word, Addiction, addict, or anything of the sort, IS NOT A WORD TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. I just wanted to scream, "You fucking idiot! People die every mother fucking day because of addiction. You making light of something so serious shows how fucking simple you really are."
I love being in recovery, but I get offended when you can't grasp the direness of the situation.
And on top of the addict issue, everything that went wrong was not her fault.She couldn't own any of her shit she brought to the house. I have learned to own my shit, it makes life a hell of a lot easier.
Maybe I'm intolerant of games when it comes to one of the things I am passionate about, but it's ignorance like that that keeps the word 'addict' taboo.
Hi Tanya,
ReplyDeleteThe concept of addiction is a complicated one. Owning up to being an addict is probably the 1st step in understanding it. I've been struggling with my recovery recently which is annoying but is significant because I now know I need to understand MY addictions more deeply.
Everyone is different so we all have to find our own ways of learning to deal with our addictions because life sure does become a hell of a lot easier without them.
Confidence can be a valuable attribute, what I have found is the more you use it the more you feel it !
Best wishes Karl X
I will keep that in mind. I think it bothers me so much because I know what my kids and ex went through with me, and I don't want someone in their lives that treats addiction like it's no big deal.
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